Ascertain

by Sleep Bellum Sonno

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released 10 March 2006

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Track Name: A Vagrant, A Thief And A Tragedy
Melody, she’s leaving at the first sign of misery,
Chastity, but I’ll deny it to the core
that you could make sense,
it’s hopeless, I’ve hoped less, for much less.
The coming days come as abruptly as the change
in her decision, derision.
And vacantly, the winter offers some relief
to numb this feeling.

Believe what you want and leave where you got to,
a vagrant, a thief, you sleep under no roof.
Let this be, let this be.
Ascend to the sky and send me an answer, l
est I forget, make sure you remember
to let this pass, let this pass.
The dimming light of January
marks her lover’s anniversary of losing touch.

He’d croon her with his lovely words,
if loving meant that she would never leave.
A drinking binge, he’s getting thin,
starvation as a compliment to fear.
And if the night won’t last the day,
sarcastic words will carry either way.

And you’re so right, you never meant a thing.

In departing, a short discrepancy,
you know I will have had you,
head turned, save face,
it all returns to me and all repeats.

Please don’t let me die alone,
I’m tormented by your letter,
and your jacket on the floor
bears no hands for me to recollect,
the way it felt when holding onto them.
Stay.

My tongue yields restoration,
with love upon my lips, my heart is rushing over,
and I’m left with emptiness.
A disarming confrontation,
where nothing’s making sense,
take hold my final discourse.
Hold on, hold on. Don’t let this go.

And now, the ink has run
beyond this pavilion we’d allowed it,
in time, the air will grey and this...
this will all seem so childish.
I swear, from here on out this
will be remembered as the end.
Track Name: Holding Hands Without A Pulse
A thought slipped my mind,
she was wearing her scantity,
and her gaze was mine, to hold.
Escape! Can I make it out, can I make it out alive?

She moves her hand to the door,
and you follow with meandering eyes.
Let out your breath, slowly now, for you are gone. Now,
is this what you call your own?
Is this what you call it?

Your essence was lost from your soul,
in just one moment, you’ve gone and sold it.

If we ascertain, everything will change.
For we choose to be who we want to be,
and we hate it.

Here in this room I gave me away.
I never thought I could fall this far, and still be breathing.
I’m seething. I’m barely breathing.
Grace take my hand, I need you now, reach out.
Grace take my hand, I need you now, touch me.

Tonight, as I, slowly come undone,
please come, and pull me out,
oh, light in the sky,
draw me to your voice, and sing to me.
Track Name: An Epilogue Insures A Beginning
As I go to speak, you’ve breathed your last.
You open up the door,
to a roomful of willing executioners,
and I won’t stand to see you, to watch you go free.
The price is on your head, the debt of silenced victims,
it’s time you let them go, it’s time you had yours.
it’s time you had yours, your taste.

On the brink of sure real fortune,
you gladly saw them fall,
the remains of what you called your own,
a sudden change of faith.
Everyday is a new beginning, an opportunity to plight,
the hopes and dreams of employees,
as you start the new work day.

And don’t it feel good?
To feel it crawling up your back?
The guilt, the shame, the masquerade
that eclipsed the coming day.

Love won’t save you from your past,
love can never take it back,
and using love as your incentive, won’t sanctify your act.

All along you’ve seen me reaching,
and all along you’ve kept me waiting,
hoping for this storm to break,
while undecided if we’ll see the sun again,
if we’ll feel the sun again.

A time will come where it will be,
a life, a choice, a chance to see,
the decisions that we made run out with 30 seconds left.
We’ll falter.
Love, won’t see us through.
Love, won’t see us through.
Come back to the way it was before,
We were, we can, we may, we will not.
Settle up, settle up for a let down.
Cheat cheat cheat cheat.
It wasn’t you, it wasn’t you.
It was me, can’t you see,
I failed you miserably.

There’s nothing left for us.
It’s time we called it quits.
Why can’t you let this go?
It’s time I let you go.
Track Name: The Awakening
As I open my eyes, I can see us wandering.
I’m wondering why, but I already know why,
we’ve come apart and spilt over the floor.
But I can’t give up on us,
these photos and letters are marked,
with love that I still have for us.
Track Name: Red Skies, Crimson Eyes
Let me get this straight,
it’s a Saturday night, you were burning
although burning wasn’t clear in your eyes.
The line was drawn, that you would come back,
you should come back, home.

I know, you said this would be fine,
but consequence will turn you over,
turn you on your side.
I thought, perhaps, that you would understand,
but understanding isn’t much when you are driving fast.
Look out, look out. The sky is crashing down,
look out, watch your back.

Stop light, you’re marking the pavement with reprise.
You’re staring her down, staring her down,
so she will know you meant harm,
and harm’s the only thing that’s ever made much sense.

It’s coming down on you, look out, watch your back.
On the verge to nowhere on the street of your house,
I’ve tried and tried but you won’t come out,
oh sweetie by the word of my mouth,
not a hand will touch you, not a single one.

Another night of waiting, another helpless plee,
just another excuse for me to watch you leave,
believe me when I say it honey,
you were not that special, and you were never sweet.

Think about the love that was in her eyes,
think about her well thought out goodbyes.
She’s leaving you in shambles.

Is that what you want to be?
With a sigh of remission, a damaged transmission,
you see her running.
The rain was a torrent, I couldn’t afford it,
to see her running.
If I could hold long enough, you would not escape.
If I could hold long enough, you would never escape!
Track Name: So Long, As You're There
There’s a ghost in my room, hovering before me,
she’s a voice that means to warn me,
of troubled days ahead, but I’m okay,
I’m awake.
I know you promised to keep me safe, I’m safe.
But I’m at a loss, I need you here,
you’ve gone away to heaven now,
I wish you still were near.

There’s a ghost in my room, sitting right beside me,
and I’m scared, that holding hands
won’t save me from the darkness,
that falls, over sleeping children.

Oh God I want some rest, from this, this.
From this I am afraid. Afraid.

It rains so much harder now,
the drive is flooded like a lake.
The paths we walked are longer now,
or I guess my legs grew weak.
It feels so wrong, to say so long.
I wait for you, to come and haunt me,
I’m so tired of wishing you’d come back,
and feeling empty.
Please, please, won’t you come back home?
And they say, that death is only the beginning.
You’re life will carry on, for me it’s never-ending.

“Think of me” she says as she drifts on.
Onward to the next temporary moment.
This will be the test of confirming what I told you.
Think of me she says as she drifts on.